Time For Thanks

The list, in no particular order:

Freedom: so much of our liberties have been under attack both as a consequence of our enemies and as a consequence of our own government. Enough. I like my freedom and I like yours too.

Portland: I love this city so much.

Family: I don't see or talk to them enough but I value each and every one of them.

The future: My hope and optimism is as high as it's been in decades.

Heather: What can I say about her. One of the greatest souls I've ever encountered. She lights me up.

Taste buds: I love good flavors so much.

Imagination: this one cognitive tool keeps me going sometimes.

Friends: keep me on my toes.

Timbers: one love.

Blazers: another love.

B!

Birthday Play By Play

Chronicling the birthday as it unfolds:

1. Birthday wishes from Aunt Debby

2. Birthday wishes from Aunt Judy

3. eCard from Shannon

4. Voice mail from Mom

5. Chocolate from boss

6. Brick of cheese from Shannon

7. Birthday wishes from Stephanie

8. Birthday text from Heather

9. Raisinets, Goobers and Sno-Caps from Mary

10. Comment from Sicily

11. Birthday wishes from Eric

12. More birthday wishes from Mom

13. Birthday wishes from Lucas (and an offer of a scotch. Yes!)

14. Birthday wishes from Rachel

15. Birthday wishes from Wookie and the rest of Timbers Army

16. Birthday wishes from Diane

17. Birthday wishes from Laurie, the Lady Cobra

18. eCard from Candy - and lunch too

19. More birthday wishes from various Timbers Army personalities

20. Voice Mail from David - with a song and some French slang

21. Comment from the CilleyGirl

22. Birthday wishes from Katharine

23. Birthday wishes from Stuart

Awesome day so far.

Are We There Yet?

40.

The flood supposedly lasted forty days and forty nights.

I’ve somehow lasted forty years. Well, if I make it to the eighth of May I will have.

This will sound cliché, but it’s just a number. Really. I mean it.

I certainly don’t feel like I’m forty. Yeah, I’ve grown up a lot since I was in my 20’s, but forty? Are you serious? You can’t be serious?

I am at a point in life where I’m much more comfortable embracing who I am. Without regard to age or expectations or boundaries. So, in that regard, forty really is just a number.

I will be celebrating with thousands of my favorite people. The Timbers play Rochester at 7:00pm Thursday, May 8. $11 General Admission ticket if you wish to join me. I’ll be at the Bitter End pre-match and Bullpen post-match. Accepting free bottles of beer from all my admirers. It will be crowded. There will be a line. Wear green. Sing loud.

Please no presents.

That's No Moon. That's A Space Station!

Big moon this morning. Peeking in my window. Watching over me.

Why does the moon, massive in the sky, make me wonder things? I stare at it and dream some little dreams. Sometimes big dreams. It makes me feel small, but never insignificant. More like an inspiration. A muse. What a rock!

I ventured out into the night on Saturday and attended a Year of The Rat party at a friend’s place and then met up with a large group of Timbers Army folks for a gathering at a local bar, “Plan B”.

It’s always fun, these gatherings, but last night’s was different for me. I had several conversations with several different people about this blog and my approach to it. Why do I write and why do I write what I write? And, what’s really ironic is that I had that same conversation with myself yesterday afternoon, that, in turn, prompted the redesign, and the poll question you find to the right. Over there. No, your other right.

While some of my inspiration gets to remain a mystery, what drives the blog is a need to communicate. A need to form ideas. Something creative. Something small. Something that I care about. And then, in the final business of self-exploration, throw it to the world to see and to judge.

Being judged has always been something that I loathed. When I used to draw I hated displaying my artwork, as I never wanted to be judged. But almost everyone who saw my work complimented me on it. So maybe the judgment wasn’t the thing. I just might not take compliments well.

But that’s not it either. I got a lot of compliments last night. And I'd like to think I took them well. In fact, they fed my ego a bit, which, it turns out, was pretty hungry. Nice. But I also found out something I didn’t expect. And that’s that not only are people reading this and finding some entertainment, but some people are being fed something too by the blog. A combination of inspiration and optimism and understanding. A deeper connection to me that I wasn’t expecting. Wow. Well call it inspioptimundism, OK?

It’s not always easy to strip yourself bare in public. But it is almost always therapeutic. So, to my friends who chatted me up last night, thank you for the kind words. A lot.

There. Let me put this art on the wall.

Hey! Where’d the moon go?
B!

Got VD?

I don’t hate St. Valentine’s Day. I just don’t have much use for it.

I’ve been thinking about the notion of this Hallmark holiday a lot lately. I’ve got no problem with the sentiment of wanting to let your loved one know how much you care. But is that what the day is really about or has become?

It seems that it revolves more around expectations and bragging rights than the expression of love. Is the gift(s) big enough? Is the gift(s) expensive enough? Is the gift(s) thoughtful enough? Did the gift(s) get delivered so everyone at work can see the gift(s)?

As much as I’d enjoy having a true love (this is a rather bold statement for me…) I’d totally avoid the Valentine’s Day pressure. It’s hard to know who’s got it worse, the guys with girlfriends or the guys without? It’s just not my style (we’re talking 2008 Bruce here) to put everything into a single day. I’m a bit of a romantic at heart and I’d hope to sprinkle affection all throughout the year.

But, as I look back on my romantic life, it was very rare that I was involved with someone on Valentine’s Day. At least I’m struggling to remember anything monumental on VD. My two long relationships sure, but so many others were of very short duration that they didn’t justify doing anything massive on VD.

It seems to me that there are four distinct situations for men on VD; Long-term, stable relationship/marriage; Just getting involved; Just getting uninvolved; Serially uninvolved. Of those four I’d imagine the two middle ones produce the most grief on VD. Just getting involved carries the pressure of doing enough without doing too much. It’s a fine line between clever and stupid. Just getting uninvolved carries the biggest emotional disappointment. Don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone.

So, for all the guys out there feeling the pressure. Relax. Show her you care more often and take the pressure off of VD.

Me? My true love could count on a fantastic meal cooked by yours truly with a good bottle of wine, her choice of movie (home or theater) or drinks/dancing, a thoughtful card and some simple but classy flowers. But she’d get this once or twice a month, not once a year.

Remember, I’m a romantic. Unfortunately I’m also serially uninvolved. Well, there’s always next month.

B!

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted...

I’m starting to make tentative plans for a late winter/early spring vacation. For someone who doesn’t travel much this is a pretty bold step. It’s not that I dislike being in new places. I actually enjoy it. It’s the actual travel that I dislike.

1) Flying. Not a big fan. Had a rough encounter in college and it gave me some serious insecurity. However, it’s one of those things where I just tell myself I’m happy that the pilot is in charge and not me since he has a bit more training than I do.
2) Airports. Between delays, lines, waiting, rushing and other people's kids they drive me nuts.
3) Planning. I can’t keep straight what attraction is where, the days of the week, the time change, etc. I am the last person who should be in charge of a group itinerary.
4) Spending money on services like airfare, hotel, cabs, etc. It always feels like throwing money away and while I’m not the most frugal guy on the planet I like tangible rewards. I can spend $700 on a flat panel TV but get me to spend $180/night on a hotel room and I want to take their TV with me.

My good friend Kip is getting hitched on April 5, so I’ll probably schedule something mid-March so I can be present for the build-up.

I’m not a sun-worshipper so I don’t need exotic locations or equatorial latitude or even bodies of clear water. I’m not opposed to cold temperatures so just about every area of the planet is in play.

I have a valid passport from my trip to England/Scotland in 2006 so I could get international if that’s what floats my boat (or lifts my aeroplane).

So, with all that I’d love suggestions for a good vacation for Bruce. I’m looking for something fun that could keep me occupied for a whole week. I’ll likely be traveling solo so that’s another consideration.

So, what say you dear readers?

B!

Making it Great in 2008

I’ve never really been one for New Year’s Resolutions. I find that to be rather limiting. So I’m not going to make any New Year’s Resolutions, just reiterate the positive efforts of the last six months.

1) Lose weight. You already know that I’m off to a good start. I’m down to 223 and should be close to or under 220 when I visit the doctor for my annual on January 11. For those keeping score at home that will leave only 10 pounds to reach my goal of 210 by March 31. I’m not ready to move the goalposts yet, but I have to say that I am very satisfied with my progress and can probably surpass my initial goal.
2) Make every day a vacation day. I had my last vacation in August. It was very relaxing and reset my mood. At that time I committed to making every day a vacation day. I vowed not to let idiot drivers ruin my drive home. No yelling. No cursing. No impatience. I vowed never to be in a hurry. The positive impact on my work day has resulted in me not sweating the little stuff, let alone the big stuff. I have been able to detach my emotional well being from my job (mostly). My actual job performance has increased as a result. Wow. Care less. Produce more. Who knew?
3) Eliminating the word “No” from my vocabulary. I used to pride myself on being a guy who said “why not” instead of “why”. Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked and declining everything from a party invitation to a cup of coffee became commonplace. Making this small adjustment has brought a much better balance to my social life. I feel more connected to friends and family. Good stuff.

My three words: weight vacation no

In addition I expect that these ongoing changes will result in me taking a few more risks and reaping the rewards that risk taking generates.

Wish me luck. If you have some goals or even actual resolutions, please feel free to share.

New Year’s Haiku

It’s a brand new year
Full of opportunity
Make the most of it

B!

Reflections On The Year Past

2007. Hard to believe that it is over. I’ve written the following in haste so I may make some adjustments over the next day or so.

I give 2007 an 8 out of 10. There’s some room for improvement, but overall a very satisfying 365 days. Some highlights, not all inclusive and in no particular order:

1) A new nephew. Not quite sure who he really is yet, beyond being very sleepy, but he seems cool. Even if he is squishy.
2) Friends. I really can’t express how unreal some of my friends are. And I keep stumbling on more and more great people all the time.
3) Living in the city. This is probably the single biggest catalyst for change in my life that I’ve had in some time. All for the positive.
4) Losing weight. I’ve dropped a total of 25 pounds now which puts my initial goal weight well within sight. Not easy, but it hasn’t killed me and I not only look healthier, I feel healthier.
5) Portland Timbers. Feel the love.
6) Portland Trailblazers. Feel that love. Wow.
7) Red Sox. World Series champs twice in my lifetime. That will last me for a long while.
8) I got a trumpet.

Some things I wish were different:

1) War. Stupid.
2) Romance. I could use a bit of it.
3) Distance. I wish I lived closer to my brother (or vice versa) and a few other amazing people. But then again, I’d always be missing out on someone wouldn’t I? There’s no perfect solution to this one, is there?

I hope that your 2007 has had similar highlights and very few lowlights.

B!

Merry Christmas!

I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and happy secular holiday.

No matter what your particular version of this holiday time entails, I wish all of you the best through this season and well into the New Year.

Peace and prosperity, harmony and fulfillment. May these all be yours now and in the future.

There Is No Parking In The White Elephant Zone

White Elephant.

The very name is fun to say. Hell, elephant alone is fun to say. Good word. But White Elephants and the parties they throw are quite fun themselves.

Sunday night was our annual department holiday party. Hosted at Ernesto’s Italian Restaurant. We were complete with our own version of Bad Santa (great job Ted!) and another curious excursion into the land of white elephant parties.

Now, for me, White Elephant parties date back to when I was a child. My parents would occasionally host the Catlin Gabel faculty party. I have very fond memories of the fun and laughter and specifically Pru Twohy, one of the most dynamic people I have ever known. I should dedicate an entire blog to her as she’s on the short list of the people who helped shape me into the dashing and charming gentleman I am today.

So, as White Elephant parties go, ours was a bit tame. That’s to be expected at a work party. There were no coats made out of human hair nor any flutes sculpted to resemble a penis (both are actual White Elephant gifts from other parties I’ve attended. True.). But we had good fun.

I was early in the arena, third or fourth to pick. My strategy was simple. Go big. There was a five foot long tube colored like a candy cane. Heavy. Solid. I went for it. Inside, rolled in brown butcher paper was a wallpaper mural of a window overlooking the sea. The cheese factor of this gift was phenomenal. I was satisfied that not only had I found a unique item that I could likely regift without shame but also that nobody in their right mind would steal it from me. I was done.

Or so I thought.

Within three gifts my mural was nicked. Can you believe it? So I had the indignity of having to make the trip to the gift table a second time. Now, I just wanted to nurse my IPA and chat with folks. My work there was supposed to be done. But, ever the good sport, I cracked some jokes, tried to steal Bad Santa’s Rum and changed my strategy. Small. I wanted the smallest package.

What I found was small, about 4 inches square. Covered in black crushed velvet it looked out of place. The clasp for the box lid was a band of elastic and I unwound it to reveal a small penguin ornament on skis. With a blue glitter coat. Tasteful. I felt less safe with this gift than the mural. As tacky as I thought it was, it did have the glitter factor as well as the penguin factor. Two major components of bizarre obsession of the knick-knack crowd.

Sure enough. My bird got nicked quickly.

With my third, shameful visit to the table, I decided I would go ugly. There was a clumsily wrapped blue package. The weight made it feel like a jug of laundry detergent. Cool, I thought. Practical. My kind of WE gift. I was hoping it would be HE compatible as our washer’s very new, and quite fancy. Alas, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was going to post a picture but it is really too hideous and might actually harm your computer. What I discoverd inside the ugly, blue bag was a gilded porcelain sculpture of grapes and fruit, in a cone shaped tower. Did I mention it was gilded? The sucker is heavy. It also is engraved on its base with the great artist named MITCHELL and dated 10-69. It’s almost as old as me. If I was more creative I’d come up with it’s thirty-eight year biography. Wanna give it a shot?

Well. At least I have a gift for my next White Elephant party.

B!