I don’t hate St. Valentine’s Day. I just don’t have much use for it.
I’ve been thinking about the notion of this Hallmark holiday a lot lately. I’ve got no problem with the sentiment of wanting to let your loved one know how much you care. But is that what the day is really about or has become?
It seems that it revolves more around expectations and bragging rights than the expression of love. Is the gift(s) big enough? Is the gift(s) expensive enough? Is the gift(s) thoughtful enough? Did the gift(s) get delivered so everyone at work can see the gift(s)?
As much as I’d enjoy having a true love (this is a rather bold statement for me…) I’d totally avoid the Valentine’s Day pressure. It’s hard to know who’s got it worse, the guys with girlfriends or the guys without? It’s just not my style (we’re talking 2008 Bruce here) to put everything into a single day. I’m a bit of a romantic at heart and I’d hope to sprinkle affection all throughout the year.
But, as I look back on my romantic life, it was very rare that I was involved with someone on Valentine’s Day. At least I’m struggling to remember anything monumental on VD. My two long relationships sure, but so many others were of very short duration that they didn’t justify doing anything massive on VD.
It seems to me that there are four distinct situations for men on VD; Long-term, stable relationship/marriage; Just getting involved; Just getting uninvolved; Serially uninvolved. Of those four I’d imagine the two middle ones produce the most grief on VD. Just getting involved carries the pressure of doing enough without doing too much. It’s a fine line between clever and stupid. Just getting uninvolved carries the biggest emotional disappointment. Don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone.
So, for all the guys out there feeling the pressure. Relax. Show her you care more often and take the pressure off of VD.
Me? My true love could count on a fantastic meal cooked by yours truly with a good bottle of wine, her choice of movie (home or theater) or drinks/dancing, a thoughtful card and some simple but classy flowers. But she’d get this once or twice a month, not once a year.
Remember, I’m a romantic. Unfortunately I’m also serially uninvolved. Well, there’s always next month.